


All The King's Men

by sunshinexprincess



Series: Wound With Circumstance [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Kinda, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:33:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22394821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinexprincess/pseuds/sunshinexprincess
Summary: In an odd way, she mused, leaning her head back against the window and staring at the ceiling, they had built some sort of. . .relationship. Their circumstances were anything but typical, but perhaps that’s what made them so strangely compatible.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey
Series: Wound With Circumstance [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1606390
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	All The King's Men

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FluffyPandaShip](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluffyPandaShip/gifts).



> This is my first time working worth a very specific prompt (besides essays/research papers for school, which I refuse to count) so please bear with me!
> 
> For FluffyPandaShip : Would you please consider writing one where the Resistance and First Order fight and Ben gets hit. and Rey later hears about the Resistance people bragging about almost getting Kylo and Rey is restless and impatient for the Force to connect them so she could see for herself how he is doing? She is beside herself with worry and he is kinda angry, but not at her, so he is just grumpy and she kinda fusses over him as much as she can.
> 
> As you will see I took this a little in my own direction and aesthetic, but I drew a lot of the main concepts from this. So cheers to you! I hope you absolutely adore it.

“GO GO GO GO GO!”

“Finn!”

She took off running, chasing her friend through the throng of Resistance pilots and medical units towards what looked like an extremely battle-worn Millennium Falcon.

“Finn! FINN!”

He finally turned around, _the deaf idiot,_ she thought fondly, and he slowed to a quick walk as she caught up.

“What’s going on?’ She asked breathlessly. “I thought we were just taking out First Order outposts today?”

“Yeah that’s what we thought too,” he said worriedly, and she noticed an increasingly strong smell of burning fabric and flesh wafting from the landing field as they walked. “But it’s like they knew we were coming.” He shook his head. “ _Please_ tell me you didn’t tell him.”

Rey bristled at his words, thinking back to the last time she saw the man in question. They had barely spoken that day, opting instead for a saber battle- his idea- and lying exhausted in silence in her chambers until he faded from view. “Why the hell would I do that?” She snapped, shaking herself back to the present. “Just because we’re bonded doesn’t mean we’re suddenly best friends.”

Of course, they _had_ gotten into a routine of reading each others books, and stargazing for hours, and dancing precariously around the fact that at some point one of them was going to have to turn or die, but she wasn’t about to tell anyone that- not even Finn.

“I know Rey,” he sighed as they came upon the Falcon. “You just mentioned that he can sometimes read your thoughts and-“

“And I can control it now,” she cut him off. She let out a low curse as Poe stepped out of the Falcon, looking sweaty and extremely shaken.

“Hey buddy,” he managed, looking at Finn. He smiled weakly at Rey. “Rey.”

“Hey Poe,” she hugged him softly.

“What happened man?” Finn put a hand on Poe’s shoulder and the trio began walk back to the main base. “That was supposed to be in and out no need for combat. How did they know you were flying in?”

Poe shrugged defeatedly. “I don’t know pal,” he said. “But I think he was waiting for you.” He leaned over to look at Rey.

“ _Wait,”_ Finn stopped walking and Rey’s stomach turned uncomfortably. “ _Kylo Ren_ was there?”

“Can’t mistake that ship of his,” Poe answered. “He was definitely there. I’m just glad you didn’t come,” he looked at Rey again. “That was a hard one to get out of. Almost got the son of a bitch too.”

_What?_

She half-expected his thoughts to answer her scathingly, but she was met only with a weak Bond, fluttering out into a cloud of fog in his direction like a rope that had been detached at one end.

“Oh,” she feigned apathy. “I wish I _had_ been there.”

_Convince yourself, Rey,_ she thought to herself. _If you can convince yourself you can convince anyone._

Poe shook his head adamantly. “Trust me, you don’t,” he told her. “Came out of nowhere- lost half the fleet to him alone.”

Her heart tightened and her vision turned purple. They, she and him, had been making progress- or at least she had thought so. Evidently he didn’t feel the same. She tried not to think too hard about how much that hurt her beyond the politics of the war.

“What happened?” Finn had found his voice again, and was frowning at his best friend.

“Found his ship landed in a patch of trees. Thought maybe he was waiting for me so I went into stealth mode, but he was just. . .” Poe shrugged again. “Sitting there. I got a couple hits in before he started attacking the Falcon with his-“ he went quiet, mimicking Force control so pitifully that Rey had to chuckle, momentarily distracted from her thoughts.

“Hey, it was _not_ funny then,” Poe gripped. “If I had just got in one more good shot I could’ve. . .” he trailed off again, shaking his head dejectedly.

“Hey man, it wasn’t your fault.” Finn put an arm around him supportively. “If anything you. . .”

Rey looked away from the pair and scanned the smoking field, anger filling her throat. She had gotten so used to the human side of him that she had forgotten what the monster in him was capable of. How could he justify this? Tears stung unbidden in her eyes. How could he call this peace?

“Rey?”

Poe and Finn had stopped walking, both looking at her concernedly. “All good out there Miss Jedi?” Poe joked, crossing his arms.

She forced what she thought was a pretty convincing grin. “All good Commander,” she responded. “Think I’m gonna go for a walk.” She gestured to the woods. “Clear my head.”

She had begun to walk quickly into the forest before the pair could respond.

Poe looked at Finn, biting his lip in thought. “She is so not okay.”

“No,” Finn sighed, turning back to the base. “No she is not.”

__________

She was so not okay.

She was, however, thanking herself profusely for forcing herself to train daily in the forest, as she now knew it as well as the dunes of Jakku. Each tree, rock, and root poking shyly through earth had registered themselves as energies, pulsing around her in vibrant yellows and greens. She had been working on finding her way through it blindfolded, using the strength and size of their energies to guide her. Today though, she was desperate for the comfort nature gave her. Training could wait.

Her thoughts drifted to him, and she couldn’t shake the sick feeling that something was deeply, deeply wrong; with him physically and her mentally. How could she be _this_ worried about a murderer? A tyrant? It made no sense.

Except of course it did, she sighed and took a heavy seat on a flat rock overlooking the landing field. They were bonded, like it or not. Hate it or not. Something drew them to each other still, even after Snoke’s death. They couldn’t go a week without the Force driving them together, and then leaving them in each other’s presence for increasingly inconvenient amounts of time.

They had taken advantage of the moments of course; at first it was all battles and healing their wounds in silence after finally tiring of fighting, and then it was spitting insults and accusations until that, too, had become boring. And then there had been the night where she woke in his chambers, and had begun picking though the volumes on his nightstand and reading until she found herself back in her bed while he lay stoically staring at the ceiling.

That night their dynamic had turned from stubborn children arguing to no actual end into two young adults tiring of hiding their burdened minds from the only other creature in the galaxy who could truly understand them.

Rey flattened her palms against the rock, closing her eyes and shutting out the noise drifting up from the landing field. If there was any time to figure out if she could control their Bond, it was now.

_Can you hear me?_

She was met with what sounded like Comm. static, and squinted her eyes tighter, hands digging into the granite beneath them.

_Can you hear me?_

Nothing.

She sighed disappointedly, though she was still not quite sure why she did, and lifted her hands from the rock, wincing when she saw the blood caked with dirt and pieces of rock. She’d have to fix that soon.

_The one time I actually want you to show up and you don’t. Why am I surprised._

_____________

If that girl did not stop calling for him like some toddler, his head was undoubtedly going to split open. He had already suffered an attack today, and he was certain- as he always was about everything- that connecting with her today should only subject him to another one.

It was impressive though _OUCH_ that she had attempted to reach out to him _OUCH_ and it had actually, somewhat, _worked._ Force bonds were rare in general- to be able to control one was power on another level. He would have to try it someday.

_OUCH._

Today was not that day.

“Could you _try_ to be more careful?” He seethed, startling the droid that was stitching up an ugly gash on his side. It had taken hours to pull the individual pieces metal from the wound, but that was mere discomfort compared to this. He could always heal himself, he knew, but it was best to keep that ability hidden. Even as Supreme Leader, no one was to be trusted fully with the knowledge of his power. The First Order was like that. Everyone was waiting for someone at the top to fall. One step up the ladder at a time. Whatever it took.

“My apologies, Supreme Leader,” the droid bowed. “I will do my best.”

“See that you do,” he growled. This had better be over quickly. The Supreme Leader should not be seen being operated on in the medical ward. It was a sign of weakness, of mortality.

At least the Jedi’s thoughts were keeping him decently distracted, however annoying they were. He let himself drift back into her mind, scoffing silently at the worrisome _“whereareyou whereareyou whereareyou”_ mixed with the angry “ _howcouldyou howcouldyou howcouldyou_ ” of her thoughts, and he could easily imagine her pacing about her quarters to the words.

It was disappointing really, her weakness. He thought they were making progress.

_Can you hear me?_

The Bond strengthened in his mind, and instead of soothing it as listening to her thoughts had, it seared his skull with a blinding pain he had never experienced. He growled in pain.

“Supreme Leader I-,” the droid started desperately.

“Just hurry up.”

The sooner these stitches were done, he thought, the better, and then maybe he could get some sleep before- _OUCH._

________________

_Where are you?_

Rey had given up on finding peace in the forest hours ago, and had stomped angrily back to base, now pacing back and forth from one curved wall to another in her quarters. She wished he was here now, even just so she could have an excuse to pull out her saber. Fighting the air wasn’t the same as locking blades with her only equal. The pure adrenaline rush she got from running at him full speed, being trapped under his blade before pushing him away with the Force only to be frozen in place with his power, wrestling with his mind until she broke a sweat and the cycle started again. It was unlike anything she had ever felt. The excitement that came with it was more stimulating than flying the Falcon through a horde of Fighters. Even if he was yelling at her, calling her weak and naive, it would be better than worrying for him endlessly for the past three hours.

_Why_ she was so concerned she still wasn’t sure; the Bond had given them an intimate connection neither had initially desired, and both had initially fought. Now, though, she was used to seeing him at least once a week, telling him her complaints and listening to his version of emotional vulnerability, curling up on his bed with a different book the nights she ended up on his ship and learning about the stars the nights he ended up in her room. Of course, she grimaced, there were always times where the bond caught them at inconvenient times; see 1. The time he had been getting dressed after a shower and he had teased her relentlessly for turning bright red at the sight of him shirtless, 2. The time he had showed up when she was sobbing after a long and brutal meeting and she had been too stubborn and embarrassed to ask him for ways to cope, 3. He had appeared when she was in the mess hall with Poe and Finn and, after remembering that only she could see him, had started pulling Poe’s hair and pinching Finn’s arm with the Force, as close to laughing as she had ever seen him as she tried desperately to defend herself to her friends while simultaneously stopping his actions.

In an odd way, she mused, leaning her head back against the window and staring at the ceiling, they had built some sort of. . . _relationship._ Their circumstances were anything but typical, but perhaps that’s what made them so strangely compatible. When they weren’t arguing over the ways of the Force and the definitions of power and freedom, they almost seemed to be friends. As if being friends with a murderer and galactic dictator was possible, she rolled her eyes.

Still-

_Where are you?_

She closed her eyes and sighed, pushing herself away from the way heavily.

_Where are you?_

She was turning the blankets on her bed when she finally felt his Force signature- weak but undoubtedly there. She turned quickly, mental kicking herself for letting him sense her worry.

He was standing, which was not at all what she had been expecting considering the state Poe aid that they had left him in. He looked drastically paler than usual, if it was possible, and she could feel the clamminess of his skin and the shakiness of his legs from where she stood.

“Do you know,” he growled, stumbling slightly over to the bed, “how _painful_ it is when you have a concussion, and a child keeps _incessantly_ calling for you for _ten hours?_ ” He collapsed on the bed, unable to finish his sentence.

She flinched at his choice of words, and also at the knowledge that it had _worked._ She quickly shook it off to reply:“Well what was I supposed to do?”

“How about leave me alone?” He tried to sound angry, but all that seeped from his energy was exhaustion as he hissed through his teeth, stretching out slowly on the bed.

“I’m sorry,” she offered, sitting on the edge of the bed carefully.

“Oh I’m sure you are,” he muttered, his eyes closed tightly, then reopened one to look at her distrustfully. “I figured you’d be happy to see me this injured. Near _death_ ,” he spat the word.

“Why would I want that?” She exclaimed, standing angrily and scowling, offended, down at him. “You think I hate you?”

“Shouldn’t you?”

“ _Dammit_ Kylo,” she half-shouted, her scowl deepening as her heart simultaneously jumped at her accidental use of his name.

“Shouldn’t you?” He cut her off, apparently insistent on receiving an answer. “Shouldn’t you hate the man who killed his father in cold blood, who murdered children with pleasure as their parents watched? Who has tried to kill you multiple times? Who turns who planets back into the atoms they came from with the press of a button? Shall I keep going?”

He had risen, with some difficulty, and was towering over her menacingly despite his injuries. If anything, they made him more intimidating; his strength was dangerously unmatched.

“No,” she said softly.

“No _what._ ”

“Stop it,” she whispered, tears pricking her eyes.

“ _No. What._ ”

He had backed her against the wall, one arm just above her head to support himself, face inches from hers and black eyes swimming with too many emotions for her to read at once.

“No, I don’t hate you.” She blocked her tears as best she could, and ignored the way his muscles tensed when she spoke. “I will never be able to hate you, as much as I know that I should. You are the _only_ person who understands what its like. To be different, to be depended on by thousands of other beings you haven’t even _met._ ” The tears came anyways. “You’re smart, and you’re thoughtful, and you’re funny, did you know that?” She half laughed half sobbed, and something in his eyes shifted. “And you could probably be _kind_ if you tried to be different. If you came home.”

His eyes darkened again at the word ‘home.’

“You know that I am none of those things,” he said evenly, body pressing closer into her.

“The First Order’s version of you isn’t, but mine is.”

She felt the moment his breath caught in his throat and his lungs stilled mid-exhale.

“My version of you is,” she whispered, a hand reaching shakily up to stop mere centimeters from his cheek. “The man you show me, I see him. I see what you _can be._ Not all Light,” she shook her head, blinking away the remains of her tears. “But not all Dark.”

He was quiet, then:

_Sola._

The thought was ridden with pain. Her heart cracked.

“You know what I am.” His energy was becoming desperate, flickering green and red like a broken control panel.

She shrugged. “And I know what you could be.”

They stood, staring into each other deeply until he sighed defeatedly, pulling away and limping his way over to the bed.

“I will only ever disappoint you,” he murmured finally, avoiding her gaze by staring hard at the world beyond the window outside. An unspoken _Sola_ clung to his tongue.

“Maybe.”

She padded silently into the fresher, returning with an armful of ointments and bandages and a wet towel to sit on the edge of the bed once more, seeming determined to pretend that all of whatever that had been had never happened.

He raised a questioning eyebrow, the movement undertoned with a very heed-able warning that she elected to ignore, lifting his shirt up instead.

“What, may I ask, are you doing?” His typical bored tone was back, and she wondered now if it was not something that he wanted to do, but was trained to do instead. A defense mechanism.

“Treating these the way they properly should be,” she said somewhat snobbishly. “Your droids may be good, but no kind of treatment will ever match human touch.” She immediately flushed as she felt humor drift out of his skin at her choice of words.

“I’m sure my medical droids are just as good as anything- _shit_!” He glowered at her accusingly, but she just shrugged, holding up the towel with fresh blood and something he black he didn’t think he wanted to know the origin of.

“Told you.”

He let out a huff through his nose, muscles relaxing slightly as she continued to clean.

“You know,” he said conversationally after a what he decided was too many silent minutes, “when I was in the medical ward earlier today I could hear you.”

“I know,” she rubbed ointment into a shallow wound harder than necessary and he hissed lowly in pain. “You mentioned.”

“Not just that,” he shook his head slightly. “I could hear you. The entire time, everything you were thinking, I heard it.”

Rey was quiet as she tried to figure out how to respond. Was this a good situation to say sorry and have him actually accept it?

“I’m sorry,” she said eventually, taping a bandage to the area and moving on to another.

“Don’t be,” he answered, and she slowed, chancing a glance up at him. His eyes looked glazed, his face thoughtful. “It was nice. Not painful like when you were trying to connect us. Just nice. Calm.”

“Oh.”

She continued to re-treat his cuts, her body beginning to ache too in the same places. That was definitely new. She could understand completely why he would have appreciated any distraction during his first treatment; this was hell. An idea struck her, and she spoke before she could ridicule herself for thinking it.

“Would you like that now?”

He frowned, and her heart quickened. That was, probably, the stupidest thing she had ever, ever, ever-

“If you want.” His tone dripped apathy but he knew that she knew his true thoughts: _Yes._

She nodded, and began to pull memories together, selecting and discarding them like she did with scavenged parts on Jakku. Taking a deep breath, she pushed gently against the folds of his mind, marveling at how willingly they fell away, and let the memory flow through.

He softened imperceptibly at the scene of a little girl, running carelessly through the dunes of Jakku with two shadowed figures pretending to catch her jogging lightly behind her. How happy she was then. He himself remembered that feeling only vaguely; she was lucky to have such vivid memories still present in her head.

Rey looked up again, hands stilling to her allow take in the overwhelming sensation of peace surrounding his weakened form, and felt her heart begin to cave in.

He had closed his eyes, lips parted thinly, his breaths deep and his face soft, almost as if he was asleep. Every muscle in him had released what felt like years of tension, and his hands, so often clenched and full of power, were open, palms turned up on the cool white of her bed. But most importantly and, she knew, most groundbreaking of it all:

He was smiling.

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. I will still go down with this ship. How odd.  
> 2\. Work suggestions are always welcome. They make me think.  
> 3\. Fun fact I am literally so not-creative that all of my work titles are inspired by/part of songs. . .Brownie points for whoever can tell me what work titles are inspired by what songs! Don't cheat. It's 2020 sis, we know better than that.


End file.
